


Fate and Folly

by ArthurBlackthorne



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 15:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19444600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurBlackthorne/pseuds/ArthurBlackthorne
Summary: In which one friend needs to find a spouse, and the other follows after while disapproving. This was going to be an original work and it mostly still is but I'm open to readers suggesting cameos, minor side plots, etc.





	Fate and Folly

  
The small kingdom of Malfis was stuck between a sea full of monsters, a forest full of fey, and a neighboring kingdom which very much wished it was located somewhere else there was naturally a castle. For a king without a castle was just a man who very much needed to have one built.

Thankfully for Crown Prince Nadir, his great-something grandfather King Linyer the Scolded had one built on the insistence of his mother Helga the Strong and his wife Bertha the Foreboding. They both told him to sharply to stop dragging his feet and officially take the job. He maintained to his death-day that he was pressured into the whole thing because no one else had wanted it.

Now, that doesn’t mean the Crown Prince didn’t have anything else to do, for his royal parents had just informed him that he needed to find a spouse. Naturally, the first order of business after such a terrifying was to crash into his best friend’s room, and perform a hostile takeover of her bed and blankets. It was her own fault really, the smoother than silk cotton sheets were from Indaggi, the fluffier than down quilt from Andao, and the wonderfully supportive bed and pillows came straight from Maien.

Duchess Key ignored him, content to stay on her armchair and work on her scathing reply to Lord Koffts new forestry initiative.

Nadir, whined and came out of his morose huddle to energetically sprawl his limbs with a loud thump. He turned his head to glare at Key, before snapping, “Are you seriously not going to ask what’s wrong?”

Key scratched her nose, “Nope. You’ll tell me when you want to.”

“My parents want me to get married! I don’t even know how to flirt!” He whined, then paused, before asking in a more serious voice, “How do you flirt anyway?”

Key finally looked up and turned to gaze at Nadir, a confused look in her black eyes, “I don’t know. Its never really come up.”

Nadir threw a pillow at her, “ Useless!”

Key frowned, “It’s not my fault, anyway what does it matter? Just pick someone, anyone you don’t mind and get it over with already. Honestly, you’re already twenty-five.”

Nadir tumbled out of bed still wrapped in the quilt and crawled over to grip Key’s thick thighs, looking up with watery soulful eyes he asked, “ Key, darling, light of my life, will you make me the most vaguely content man in the world and marry me?”

“...I’m married.” She deadpanned, unamused.

“Get a divorce.” He snapped back irritated. Surely their friendship was more important than a measly marriage.

“I’m happily married,” she said in a bored tone. Why was she even friends with this eternal brat anyway?

“Impossible. Look at me, a platinum blonde, green-eyed royal who you have known since forever ago versus that common beached whale you call a wife who you’ve only known for a measly five years. Clearly, you made a mistake when in despair over never having the courage to propose to me you resigned yourself to a lifetime of coddling that bag of lard and tears.”

“Don’t be rude, Miria’s a hippo, not a whale. Though I suppose I can understand your confusion, you have never been bright enough to distinguish between a sea and a lake of tears,” Key replied calmly.

She turned back to her scroll, pencil tapping against her chin as she tried to think of a polite way to say Lord Koffts should stop scarfing down his faction’s drivel long enough to realize he had his over-inflated head shoved up his own ass.

Annoyed, he proceed to clamber onto her lap, snatched her scroll and throw it onto the floor. He pouted, “ You seriously won’t get a divorce? Lovely, just think, you could be a queen.”  
  
"Thanks to you I already have the workload of one, if I make it official I'll be burdened by the expectations of one too."  
  
He snuggled into the crook of her neck, sighing, "Fine then teach me how to flirt, I know you know how. Your whole family has always gotten some of the hottest and most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes onto the alter or into their beds."  
  
Key blinked, "I'm not sure if I should be insulted or flattered by that."  
  
"Both, now spill."  
  
She put her right arm around him and stroked his back, "You're asking the wrong person. We're usually attractive, from a well-known if not always well-off family, clever, and superficially charming. We, as a rule don't bother with that. We just ask, and most are not fools enough to refuse."  
  
"...I for one know when I'm being insulted, seriously Key. Help me."  
  
"I...why don't you just have a ball, meet some people who can atleast pretend to be nice and polite in public?"  
  
"That's so boring though!," He wrinkled his nose, he continued in a more serious tone, "Not to mention I need to find someone who can handle the pressure, the crisis, the unending dull machinations of the court, and remain loyal if not to me then for the good of our people and the future of our kingdom."  
  
Key's hand paused, before moving up to pat his head, she stayed silent.  
  
Suddenly he straightened up, a hand on each of her cheeks, as he smiled impishly, "Which is why I've decided that you need to plan a year long competition so I can find my future queen. That or you can stop being selfish and sacrifice your marriage to stay by my side for the rest of your life."  
  
She shoved him off and stood as he groaned pathetically on the cold stone floor. She strode out the door, not bothering to turn as she called back, "I'll get right on that Your Highness."


End file.
